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Quote of the day

"If you wanna be a princess you have to ask your mom first"






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*thanks Cathy

Wasn't it just yesterday....

that you were too small for your tricycle?






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"Once upon a time there was a girl running in the grass and she broke her heels. She was so sad because her heels were magic and they broke. The end."
-story by T, age 3






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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY!

My Big Girl

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Dealing

We've been having a hard time dealing with the rather sudden death of our Smokey.

It was quite sudden and we didn't have time to really even think about what was happening.

Ryan is out of town, won't be back until Friday. I have been bringing Peanut to work with me because of her medical issue and her inability to "hold her bladder" as a result of the medication. Smokey and Maeby always stay home and Maeby is always crated because she is naughty and likes to pee in inconspicuous places.

So, Peanut, T & I arrived home from work/school at our regularly scheduled time.

We walked in the house, Smokey ran out and I went to let Maeby out of her cage. I suddenly heard crying from outside and turned to see Smokey walk in the house with one of his back legs dangling. I'm guessing he slipped on the snowy deck. I instantly knew it was broken and with that, I knew he must have osteosarcoma...cuz I'm that kind of a doom and gloom gal and he's 11 and a large breed dog.....

So, back in the car to the ER to confirm that yes, he had a fracture and yes, it looked like cancer. *Deep Breath*

I did my best to explain to T that we had to say our goodbye's to "Doodie" because he wasn't coming home with us. Ever. God, that was the hardest thing to do. It took her awhile to grasp it, and I'm not even sure she fully understands. I was honest with her. Doodie was very hurt and sick and he has died.

I am hoping this book helps...both of us

She keeps saying that she misses him. I miss him too.

Who is going to get into the garbage?

Who is going to eat the last cookie off the counter that I was saving for later?

Who is going to leave shredded, wet pieces of Kleenex all over the couch for me to clean up?

Who is going to be so happy to see me that they leap around the house like a deer?

Oh Smokey, you were one of a kind.

RIP Smokey "Doodie"
We'll miss you old man-You will forever be in our hearts

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Off the wagon

I've been sooooooo good about not spending any money. Soooooo good. But I slipped off the wagon twice. A tiny slip.
The first time was last week-I took T to the dentist and she was a total super star. Afterwards she asked for a Starbucks....I caved.
She enjoyed a vanilla steamed milk and I enjoyed...nothing :) That's right, nothing. I was good and didn't get myself anything because I have coffee at home :)

The 2nd time was on Tuesday. It was late, we were exhausted...ok, I was exhausted. The thought of making dinner was making me even more exhausted. McRib is back for a limited time.....You see where this is going.

With 30 days of nothing coming to a close I feel good. I surprised myself. I think this is something that has really changed the way I view what I "need" vs. what I "want".

We also donated some cash to Oxfam and the Red Cross to help with relief efforts in Haiti.
As a result of this little study of my willpower, we were able to donate more than we would have been ;)

"Mommy, why they so sad? I wanna rescue them"

Me too T......me too.

My heart is breaking.


photo courtesy of Eduardo Munoz/Reuters

sometimes it hits you like a ton of bricks

Today it happened in the shower, brought me to tears, almost to my knees.

The thought. The need. The urgency to go back to Ethiopia. I have to go back. I want to go back. Soon.

I feel like if I don't go back then I will forget. I will forget the smells, the sounds, the people, the emotion.

I don't want to forget.

Ever.

Day 8

I've been really proud of myself the past week :) Yesterday I totally forgot to bring my lunch to work. It was all packed up and sitting in the fridge....where it stayed all day. I had a brief moment of panic when I realized my mistake but calmed down when I remembered that we have a cabinet at work that one of the Dr's is nice enough to stock with goodies. So, I survived on coffee, a ding dong and a bowl of ramen ;)

Yesterday was also the Ethiopian Christmas and we usually like to have a special Ethiopian meal but I didn't plan ahead this year so we had a frozen pizza. Hey, we had a lot of pizza while in Ethiopia-Italian food is pretty common in Addis, given the brief occupation of Italy but I digress-it was all good :)

I do have to make a trip to The Gap to return a gift...I have to go before my reciept expires and I am a little nervous about making it out of there without spending a dime.....



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Flashing Lights

*a trip to the Museum of Science & Industry and not a dollar spent! I even found street parking ;)

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30 Days of Nothing

For the month of January I have given up spending money on anything other than essentials. Groceries are ok, but I am trying to be more aware of what I buy and whether or not it is really "essential". Coffee in bulk is ok. I think I would wither up and die if I didn't have coffee. It is most certainly an essential. Coffee from Dunkin' Donuts is not. No more lunches on the fly, I need to be more prepared when we leave the house. No more throwing things into my cart at Target....in fact, I am trying to avoid that place all together!

Today marks day #5 of the challenge and y'know what? It hasn't been that bad. I have been brewing my own coffee at home and taking a travel mug (Love you Keurig!!). I have been making my own breakfast sandwiches too (another typical commuting splurge of mine) and bringing lunch to work. We have also have plans to make a bunch of meals in the slow cooker. It is easy and generally stews and such last us a few days.

As far as entertainment goes, we did go to the movies on New Years Day but Ryan bought the tickets and he isn't playing along ;) So.....that doesn't count...right?
Otherwise, we already have a membership to the Kid's Museum and have plans to hit a couple of the local museums in the next weeks on their free days. On Tuesdays, Borders has free storytime, which is great...except I have to avert my eyes from all of the books so I am not tempted. I did hit up the library on Sunday for reading material so I should be ok.

It was hard to tell T no when she asked for a Starbucks today when we pulled into the parking lot of Borders but y' know, she said "Ok Mom!" when I explained that we are trying not to spend money in January. No tears :)

So far, so good....I think. It is actually a good feeling having this kind of control.